takut

sape kata x takut. takutlah.

tapi whats important now is effort. not doubt

paham tak? x phm kan.

xde sape suro paham pon.

effort it is

so mari relocate myself back to KL

thats more important above anything else.

individualistic

now im a new person. i dont wana post things about my bf only. its too cheesy n i look fragile. not that im strong now. its just that, sometimes u need space for urself, n ur bf does need space too. so pls dont complaint bout ur bf not contacting u, or entertain u 24/7. he is just human. he needs his time too. n u too need ur time. dont rely on ur bf so much. at times u need to be individualistic so that u hv ur own identity. now that its been almost 3 weeks i didnt contact him,i kinda felt great. i felt like im certain that my bf now is going to be my husband. not because i love him, its because my family does like him too. i dono whether he loves me or not now since we didnt contact. but its okey, im goin to contact him back. no worries. i felt so relieved that my bf did 'this' to me. by 'this' i mean not contacting me at all. love it! thanks syg. i will contact u soon, hope u still love me n not mad at me.

zaki

i miss my bf  :(

bibit nak balik KL

haha. i consider myself as manja la. anak last pulak. adoiii. benci la rasa camni. it started when i had fight with bf couple of days ago. tp okey la jugak duduk miri. its just that, when im sad, i cant be with my family. however, when im in miri, im kinda calm when me n bf had a fight. mula2 nangis la jgk, tp eventually nak nangis pon x keluar air mata. keluar bijik mata je. okey fine, not funny. haha! so in conclusion, nex year nak pindah jugak! kalau boleh nak keje kt company yg ade blkg rumah je. n the perks of living near to my family, i get to calm myself everytime i see my mom n dad eventho they do nothing to cheer me up. Just by seeing ur mom everyday, u get free pahala. so senangnya nak pahala. duhh. afterall, mak la ni spoilt baby sampai baby eventually xnak duduk jauh2 dh. haish. hahah!

Nak beli tiket raya tahun

Recently i had fight with bf. Still dont hv guts to contact him. Haha. Seriouss. I may laugh, but deep inside I am miserable. Need to be strong to not contact him. Not because my ego is high. Its simply bcz I wan to gv him time. Since he was so angry with me. I know its my fault since I provoked him too much las time. But things happened, I wish I can go back in time but I cant. Every second I wish he wud text me or call me jus to acknowledge me that we r still goin strong. But until today there's no news frm him except for he has transferred duit to my cimb akaun. For that im thankful. Sbb duit dlm bank tinggal rm23. Nak makan ape dua minggu dgn rm23. Haha. Sengkek di situ. From there I know he cares a bit bout me. Kui2 but still. No guts to contact him. Its like I had fight with bapak. All I did was cry n let the time fixed it. Tibe2 je bapak baik dgn ku. Siap bagi duit segala. Sayang bapak mmg infinity. Im so stress when bapak does everythg he cud to make me happy. Sedih di situ. So, right now im a bit perplexed. Sbb ape. Tiket to kl for raya next year is cheap. Buttttt dunno whether to take leave or not since most of cheap tickets fall on weekdays. Tp kalo nk amek leave mcm mane nak kahwin. Hmmm. N skrg ni x tahu bf I nak kahwin ngn I ke x. Sedih. Sbb die kata kalau ade jodoh kite kawin. Tpiii mcm kite exam, if xde effort mcm mana nak dpt straight a's in exam. Takdir will follow our effort to make it coherent right. Plus Tuhan kan Maha Bijaksana. Takkan sewenangnya Dia render triumph to lazy ppl right. So in my case. Xkan bile kite nak kahwin, kite biaaa je. Let time fix jugak. Ok x lawak. I think what he meant was dont talk bout kahwin lots. Just chill n go with the flow. When ppl ask then we talk about it. If not jus chill. Xpela. In d mean time. Marilah tunggu bf ku whatsapp or call. Itupon kalo die nak whatsapp. Sedih begini. Tapi what to do. Nak nangis. Hari2 sdh nangis. Hari2 dgr lagu sedih. Konon feeling. Hahaha. I just want him to know that I really love him every second. Wish he wud read this blog n whatsapp me. Which I doubt he will. So jgn la expect more. Expect less pls. Wish he knew he is the only one for me. He's the guy who bring me forward n never let me look back. Always looking forward to meet him. Xpe. Raya haji nt nak kua dua kali. Haha if he read this he prolly doesnt want to contact me. Might as well he spend his money to buy his stuff. I don know. Let jus wait. Mohd rasydan zaki bin zainuri. I love u co much untill I hope no one wud read this coz ill be damn embarrassed if ppl read.  Haha. Love u! 

developing

U know u r in good relationship when u and ur partner helping each other to develop in terms of everything (e.g career,family,etc). Sometimes, to make ur relationship seems interesting every second, u need to embrace the changes that happen to ur partner and urself. And to embrace the changes, u need to develop. So, try to slowly develop urself, dont stand only in one level. Try to leap to another phase of life. Im not telling this advice for u, im telling this advice to myself too. So MAIRA! u go girl!

Emak n bapak

Penah tak rasa mcm nak kahwin tp xnk dgr ckp suami. U still want to cling urself towards ur parents.nk harap parents bg bezday present smpi bila bila.nk mintak duit parents when u hv none.i pernah.kan I kata I nk kawin kn.tp nex year.tp akak I ni loves to push utk sy kawin awal.so I mcm pk.ape yg bes sgt kawin selain u know what.other than that biase je.hmm.pelik kn.i do can tolerate with my bf.tp I xsuke tolerate slalu.n I hv thing like ble gado ngn bf.asik igt parents.pstu nangis.hahaha.tp x kol pon parents.sbb drg smgt I tau.so I tkt klo I kol I nangis.coz there were several times I cried when I express my prob to them.they r my strentgh foreva n eva.i really love myself parents. The way they sacrifice everything for me is just unbearable.i hope when I get married.i hope they know that I always want to be their daughter.n I don wan to lose them.ever kalau blh.i love them forever really.i really dont wan them to let go of me.i jus wan them to feel that zaki is just an addition to my family.not someone who will confiscate me.n I will let them know that im their daughter forever.