takut

sape kata x takut. takutlah.

tapi whats important now is effort. not doubt

paham tak? x phm kan.

xde sape suro paham pon.

effort it is

so mari relocate myself back to KL

thats more important above anything else.

individualistic

now im a new person. i dont wana post things about my bf only. its too cheesy n i look fragile. not that im strong now. its just that, sometimes u need space for urself, n ur bf does need space too. so pls dont complaint bout ur bf not contacting u, or entertain u 24/7. he is just human. he needs his time too. n u too need ur time. dont rely on ur bf so much. at times u need to be individualistic so that u hv ur own identity. now that its been almost 3 weeks i didnt contact him,i kinda felt great. i felt like im certain that my bf now is going to be my husband. not because i love him, its because my family does like him too. i dono whether he loves me or not now since we didnt contact. but its okey, im goin to contact him back. no worries. i felt so relieved that my bf did 'this' to me. by 'this' i mean not contacting me at all. love it! thanks syg. i will contact u soon, hope u still love me n not mad at me.

zaki

i miss my bf  :(

bibit nak balik KL

haha. i consider myself as manja la. anak last pulak. adoiii. benci la rasa camni. it started when i had fight with bf couple of days ago. tp okey la jugak duduk miri. its just that, when im sad, i cant be with my family. however, when im in miri, im kinda calm when me n bf had a fight. mula2 nangis la jgk, tp eventually nak nangis pon x keluar air mata. keluar bijik mata je. okey fine, not funny. haha! so in conclusion, nex year nak pindah jugak! kalau boleh nak keje kt company yg ade blkg rumah je. n the perks of living near to my family, i get to calm myself everytime i see my mom n dad eventho they do nothing to cheer me up. Just by seeing ur mom everyday, u get free pahala. so senangnya nak pahala. duhh. afterall, mak la ni spoilt baby sampai baby eventually xnak duduk jauh2 dh. haish. hahah!

Nak beli tiket raya tahun

Recently i had fight with bf. Still dont hv guts to contact him. Haha. Seriouss. I may laugh, but deep inside I am miserable. Need to be strong to not contact him. Not because my ego is high. Its simply bcz I wan to gv him time. Since he was so angry with me. I know its my fault since I provoked him too much las time. But things happened, I wish I can go back in time but I cant. Every second I wish he wud text me or call me jus to acknowledge me that we r still goin strong. But until today there's no news frm him except for he has transferred duit to my cimb akaun. For that im thankful. Sbb duit dlm bank tinggal rm23. Nak makan ape dua minggu dgn rm23. Haha. Sengkek di situ. From there I know he cares a bit bout me. Kui2 but still. No guts to contact him. Its like I had fight with bapak. All I did was cry n let the time fixed it. Tibe2 je bapak baik dgn ku. Siap bagi duit segala. Sayang bapak mmg infinity. Im so stress when bapak does everythg he cud to make me happy. Sedih di situ. So, right now im a bit perplexed. Sbb ape. Tiket to kl for raya next year is cheap. Buttttt dunno whether to take leave or not since most of cheap tickets fall on weekdays. Tp kalo nk amek leave mcm mane nak kahwin. Hmmm. N skrg ni x tahu bf I nak kahwin ngn I ke x. Sedih. Sbb die kata kalau ade jodoh kite kawin. Tpiii mcm kite exam, if xde effort mcm mana nak dpt straight a's in exam. Takdir will follow our effort to make it coherent right. Plus Tuhan kan Maha Bijaksana. Takkan sewenangnya Dia render triumph to lazy ppl right. So in my case. Xkan bile kite nak kahwin, kite biaaa je. Let time fix jugak. Ok x lawak. I think what he meant was dont talk bout kahwin lots. Just chill n go with the flow. When ppl ask then we talk about it. If not jus chill. Xpela. In d mean time. Marilah tunggu bf ku whatsapp or call. Itupon kalo die nak whatsapp. Sedih begini. Tapi what to do. Nak nangis. Hari2 sdh nangis. Hari2 dgr lagu sedih. Konon feeling. Hahaha. I just want him to know that I really love him every second. Wish he wud read this blog n whatsapp me. Which I doubt he will. So jgn la expect more. Expect less pls. Wish he knew he is the only one for me. He's the guy who bring me forward n never let me look back. Always looking forward to meet him. Xpe. Raya haji nt nak kua dua kali. Haha if he read this he prolly doesnt want to contact me. Might as well he spend his money to buy his stuff. I don know. Let jus wait. Mohd rasydan zaki bin zainuri. I love u co much untill I hope no one wud read this coz ill be damn embarrassed if ppl read.  Haha. Love u! 

developing

U know u r in good relationship when u and ur partner helping each other to develop in terms of everything (e.g career,family,etc). Sometimes, to make ur relationship seems interesting every second, u need to embrace the changes that happen to ur partner and urself. And to embrace the changes, u need to develop. So, try to slowly develop urself, dont stand only in one level. Try to leap to another phase of life. Im not telling this advice for u, im telling this advice to myself too. So MAIRA! u go girl!

Emak n bapak

Penah tak rasa mcm nak kahwin tp xnk dgr ckp suami. U still want to cling urself towards ur parents.nk harap parents bg bezday present smpi bila bila.nk mintak duit parents when u hv none.i pernah.kan I kata I nk kawin kn.tp nex year.tp akak I ni loves to push utk sy kawin awal.so I mcm pk.ape yg bes sgt kawin selain u know what.other than that biase je.hmm.pelik kn.i do can tolerate with my bf.tp I xsuke tolerate slalu.n I hv thing like ble gado ngn bf.asik igt parents.pstu nangis.hahaha.tp x kol pon parents.sbb drg smgt I tau.so I tkt klo I kol I nangis.coz there were several times I cried when I express my prob to them.they r my strentgh foreva n eva.i really love myself parents. The way they sacrifice everything for me is just unbearable.i hope when I get married.i hope they know that I always want to be their daughter.n I don wan to lose them.ever kalau blh.i love them forever really.i really dont wan them to let go of me.i jus wan them to feel that zaki is just an addition to my family.not someone who will confiscate me.n I will let them know that im their daughter forever.

Kerana kakak tersyg

I always overthink bout my future till the point whr my bf didnt want to entertain me anymore. Sad. Haha. But whtevs. Its scares the hell out of me if my future doesnt end up well. I mean what if I dont get pregnant on times whn I shud be pregnant. What if I change my job but the salary isnt coherent w/ the way I live or w/ the stuff tht I need to constanly pay.what if I still stay in miri few years time.what if what if? ..There are just so many possibilities. If u want me to list down one by one, the post will be long.so as for now.i just want to send my resume n see what the rezeki brings me. Hehe. Just bear in ur mind that u are here bcz of ur sister.hehe

P/s:my miri colleague jus asked if I cud help her look for bunga telor. Sadly I cant help her since im not plannig to go to jln tar when I go back home. :(

making sure

make sure i find another job before i decide to have a baby. pls make sure that! n find job that is near to ur house. plus u r a girl.u dont need to travel, ur husband must do all the traveling stuff.

Best combo

Bila u ada

Jerawat + makin kurus + bf x layan = best combo ever. It hurts deep inside. But whatever. I think we both need time to focus on other thing as well. Especially me. I lack activities to do here in miri. I love the fact that I can do nothing here. But I really love texting my bf. Unfortunately he got bored with it. Coz its the same old story everyday. Tgkla. Die xkan text I nt. He cudnt even bother to reply my txt. Coz his life too hectic I guess. Nk pk die ade skandal. Pikir jgk. Tp I still trust he has no scandal. Sbb klo ade pon I nak buat ape. What shud I do. Kan?. So just continue the same life here in miri. Nanti dh pindah cubicle x blh dh nk emo. Ppl can smell ur sadness. So be happy! N call ur mom always!  

Resolusi membeli-belah

Things i wana buy on jan 2014 :

1) jeans koyak topshop - baju
2) High waisted jeans joni topshop -baju
3) Mom's jeans tophop - baju
4) Jeggings gelap topshop - baju
5) skirt midi bodycon topshop - baju crop ketat
6) bodycon midi dress topshop
7) Pointy Pump shoes, nk rendah2 punye je
8) Wedges! yg byk2 tali!

How bout dat biatch! haha

Tips how to buy shoes

Tips how to buy shoes :

1) dont buy expensive flats
2) Invest in comfy and quality pump wedges or open wedges
3)Dont buy heels that has more than 4" height
4) Do online shopping research
5) Buy one oxford shoes. haha! for the sake of having one.

Resolution yg harus dilupakan seketika

Kalau perasan, ramai gila orang gebang dengan resolusi masing2 right after they graduated. Ade yang nk keje oil n gas, or nak kerja di company yg besar2 sahaja.Yang kecik2 ni buat simpanan je. Dh kerja pulak nak kahwin, x payah kumpul duit, teros dh boleh kahwin. x aci. haha. But getting married is depending on the family, so if family nk awal, blh la awal. If not, kena la kumpul duit smpi duit cukup. Tidak cukup dengan itu, ade yang mahu membeli rumah. Part ni mcm wow, so fast meh u want to buy house. But those who posses salary in the range of rm4000 to rm5000, I think its relevant for u to buy house. Akan tetapi, rmi yg gaji byk camni, they also not sure where to reside. Its because usually those who posses high rank of salary work in oil n gas field. Normally, oil n gas field provide vacancy di hulu2, not in the middle of city. So xkan nk duduk hulu kan. tp whatever. Ade pula yg nak ade anak. Mcm2 la.So di sini nk jelas my resolution yg saya mahu sekarang, n resolution yg i want later.

Resolution skrg:

1) nak isi log book iem
2)buat resume baru
3)anta resume baru ke company in kl
4)nak pindah kl before kahwin
4)nak tunang
5)nak kahwin
6)nak practice make up
7) nak practice buat rambut
8) nak practice buat hantaran
9) look for things for hantaran
10) kenali bunga
11) nak kawin
12) nk jadi org yg byk tanya, n jd org yg selambe. how bout dat! haha
13) beli kereta
14) spend more time with frens
tu jelah setakat ni. byk sgt ni

Resolution later
1) beli rumah.
2) ade anak

July resolution

1 to update resume n send to companies in kl
2 to pergi terawikh at least 10 kali
3 to hv plans before commence daily work. Haha
4 to read lots. If possible I would like to finish the hunger games book and shopaholic book this month. *Fingers crossed. Boy, with internet everywhere, its hard for me to focus on other things. Damn!

Prioritize

There are so much things I would like to buy now. Arghhh. First it was clarisonic. Tool which function to open the pores so that the beauty product u utilize can be absorbed easily. Did u know that the problem of our skin problem is not because of cheap beauty product or rather the expensive ones. It was because the product is not absorb efficiently to our skin. Hmm. My mom has that tool. Unfortunately it belongs to her instead of me plus she bought the tool. Thus of course the tools is hers. Then the next things I want to buy is pointy shoes. I want the average height of pointy heels shoes. I dont think I could stand wearing 4" high heels. I mean it does elongate my leg but then again its not relevent. Not to forget I want the most comfortable pointy shoes ever. Its because i dont come from wealthy family so I cant bear buy lots of shoes at one time. I must limit my choice since I hv tight budget. But im still very thankful with things I have. Im happy. Okey back to the story, my point is I dont know which one to prioritize and the list goes on. Haha. Aigooo. K la. Tu je. Toodles

Pening

Am having headache recently. I think its cause by my lack of sleeping. Its hard for me to fall asleep at 10pm. I dont know why. I guess I want to cherish every minute of me waking up. Do u get what I mean. No eh. Who cares. I also think my headache cause by pre-menstruation too. Pity me. Hopefully I recover fast so that I could have productive day at office. Go away headache.

New apps for blogger like me

Haha. Am no famous blogger.But im so excited to know that this apps is actually exist.Call me noob or whatever, im still excited.haha.The fact that I can just post my recent activities here in this blog.Sooo excited.Technology indeed has its own advantages.huhu.Okey I leave u with photo of me n my bf during 2010 and 2012.Oh how I miss him but then again truthfully I love being in miri coz I get to spend time only with myself. Sometimes I wish I hv my close frens here but its ok.Im ok with or without them so far. Huhu. But then again after 1 year being here Im not sure if I suddenly cant stand anymore n decide to go bck kl instead.Hahahaha.We'll see.Ok thats all.toodles.

June Resolution

1) to make sure i've completed replacing puasa ganti
2) to play guitar more
3) to read BEM flyer
4) to finish slides on MCT, Cable Gland, Cable and Cable Tray
5) to start sewing (this one need to hold first haha but still i want 2 put in my resolution)

malaysia ni xde pape lah

Nowadays,we are exposed with racist isssues all over Malaysia.I dont know about u,but in my opinion i feel like what UTUSAN wrote yesterday was kinda truth.What the hell they want from us?Please do tell.Its because i also want to know.FYI,i hv no objection against these ppl,seriously i hv none.I used to work with them once,they treated me really nice.However,i found that they hv no value within themselves.What they do is work,they dont care about silaturrahim like Islam ask us to apply in our life.All they know is they want to generate abundance of money.They r willing to be nice to other ppl just because they want something.Sad.In short,i dont think melayu is racist against cha lap ya nun.Its just this is our country,IT IS OUR COUNTRY.Negara ini used to be Tanah Melayu.The saddest part is,The Malays(Bumiputera) dont want 2 support other Malays(Bumiputera).To support them is not a problem,but please let their race support them,plus Malay is the most modest race in Malaysia.Its just Malay cant see other Malay succeed.Ironic.Haih.Thus,i dont think there's any issue la about racism ni.Ini adalah issue dibangkit oleh both parties for their own sake.But please Malay,both parties are suck,but choose wisely.Choose for the sake of one reason which is we want to protect our hak.As a human,u cant be so tamak and want evertyhing.Right?I donno,i just think there's no racism issue.As far as i seen,i never seen Malay or Indian or Chinese wana punch each other everytime we met.NO!NADA!TIADA.So,no racism issue.FULLSTOP!I hope malaysia will be ruled by my race and be better Malaysia.n Most importantly help each other in so many ways!n we cannot think we can get it all!We are not perfect,our laws are not perfect.So choose for only one reason.n with the power we acquired,dont be mean and lets help all people from all races no matter what.

bored!

As i mentioned in my previous post,I hv no work in MMC.No specific task was given to me recently.Not that i mind,its just as someone who being paid to work,i need to buck up and do my responsibility as employee.At first i tot 'okey,got no work to do,lets just read'.Its not as easy as we say,eventually i fed up i end up stop reading.Its because reading needs lots of fokus and if u feel sleepy, reading doesnt do any justice to u.However,i keep reading coz i love to read and i hate browsing fb.I rather open blog or online shopping than open fb coz i dunno.I just wana restrain myself from doing that.FB filled with lots of fraud story.Boring! But then again i still open fb just to stalk. HAHA!

hmm.actually i forgot what i wana tell in this this post.I forgot.OMG,my brain barely works,im starting to forget things! NO! hehe. DRAMA much!. hehe. saje je.

Whatever la! thats it. toodles