Recently i had fight with bf. Still dont hv guts to contact him. Haha. Seriouss. I may laugh, but deep inside I am miserable. Need to be strong to not contact him. Not because my ego is high. Its simply bcz I wan to gv him time. Since he was so angry with me. I know its my fault since I provoked him too much las time. But things happened, I wish I can go back in time but I cant. Every second I wish he wud text me or call me jus to acknowledge me that we r still goin strong. But until today there's no news frm him except for he has transferred duit to my cimb akaun. For that im thankful. Sbb duit dlm bank tinggal rm23. Nak makan ape dua minggu dgn rm23. Haha. Sengkek di situ. From there I know he cares a bit bout me. Kui2 but still. No guts to contact him. Its like I had fight with bapak. All I did was cry n let the time fixed it. Tibe2 je bapak baik dgn ku. Siap bagi duit segala. Sayang bapak mmg infinity. Im so stress when bapak does everythg he cud to make me happy. Sedih di situ. So, right now im a bit perplexed. Sbb ape. Tiket to kl for raya next year is cheap. Buttttt dunno whether to take leave or not since most of cheap tickets fall on weekdays. Tp kalo nk amek leave mcm mane nak kahwin. Hmmm. N skrg ni x tahu bf I nak kahwin ngn I ke x. Sedih. Sbb die kata kalau ade jodoh kite kawin. Tpiii mcm kite exam, if xde effort mcm mana nak dpt straight a's in exam. Takdir will follow our effort to make it coherent right. Plus Tuhan kan Maha Bijaksana. Takkan sewenangnya Dia render triumph to lazy ppl right. So in my case. Xkan bile kite nak kahwin, kite biaaa je. Let time fix jugak. Ok x lawak. I think what he meant was dont talk bout kahwin lots. Just chill n go with the flow. When ppl ask then we talk about it. If not jus chill. Xpela. In d mean time. Marilah tunggu bf ku whatsapp or call. Itupon kalo die nak whatsapp. Sedih begini. Tapi what to do. Nak nangis. Hari2 sdh nangis. Hari2 dgr lagu sedih. Konon feeling. Hahaha. I just want him to know that I really love him every second. Wish he wud read this blog n whatsapp me. Which I doubt he will. So jgn la expect more. Expect less pls. Wish he knew he is the only one for me. He's the guy who bring me forward n never let me look back. Always looking forward to meet him. Xpe. Raya haji nt nak kua dua kali. Haha if he read this he prolly doesnt want to contact me. Might as well he spend his money to buy his stuff. I don know. Let jus wait. Mohd rasydan zaki bin zainuri. I love u co much untill I hope no one wud read this coz ill be damn embarrassed if ppl read. Haha. Love u!